The SFL Week Three Round-up

The Second Division is coming to the boil nicely. There were two very entertaining odd-goal-in-five scuffles yesterday, the first coming at Recreation Park. The ghastly Red Schichties were the visitors and it looked like a gratifying defeat was on the cards for them after Kev Cawley’s first half brace put the Wasps firmly in command – but never underestimate “Peanut” Sheerin’s annoyingly entertaining side.

Sheerin has clearly been following the Kevin Keegan/Barry Fry route to success by simply ignoring the defence in training and concentrating on all-out attack. And, sure enough, after reading the riot act at his stumbling cloggers at half-time, they returned to the hallowed Clackmannanshire plastic to deliver a second half comeback masterclass, Paul Currie’s equaliser being the pick of their three goals. The result leaves the Maroon Malevolence top of the early table, with Hartley’s Wasps being reminded of the gap between Third and Second Division football.

It was a good day for Angus, as Uncle Fester led the Bridies to a 3-2 success at Somerset Park. Carelessly, the Honest Men led twice but ended up succumbing to late strikes from Swank-wank-wankie and, once again, a splendid last gasp winner from “Foxy” Fotheringham. Fester’s flinty Fife eyes sparkled with pride under the black rim of his bunnet after the game following such a determined victory.

But what of poor Mark Roberts? His side can score but can’t defend, and he doesn’t have the players to make good the Barry Fry route to glory. Fester had the comforting “Ayr will come good” words for his counterpart that only a winning manager can have, but the evidence so far points towards an abysmal season for the Honest Men.

In the other matches, Andy “Lorne Sausage” Jackson did enough with a quickfire first-half brace to pour Gordon Durie’s Methilated Spirits down the gutter at Hedge Park. Stenny would have been expected to win at Stair Park, but failed. Sure enough, Ross McMillan had them in front before too long, but the Warriors passed up innumerable chances to make the game safe before “Boaby” Love and Ryan “Johnson” Borris combined to equalise on the hour. It was enough to secure a gratifying point for the Stena Sealink Works XI who leapt above the Honest Men to the dizzying heights of eighth as a result.

Another Saturday, another defeat and no goals for the Wee Rovers. Todd Lumsden’s pitiful side travelled to Palmerston to face the Doonhamers, who once again won without playing terribly well. “Deek” Lyle netted the game’s only goal after 20 minutes; matters then tumbled downhill for the Wee Rovers like a mountain shack in a monsoon. Jamie Gilmartin saw red after coating the officials in a gloopy foul-mouthed paste just before half-time, and then Jason “Garth” Crooks conspired to miss a penalty, brilliantly turned around the post by goalkeeper Lee Robinson.

Sadly, Rovers have all the bite up front of a pensioner who’s misplaced his falsers, and until it’s rectified, it is hard to see when they will start notching points and goals of their own.



In the past, your Uncle Partizan has been described as a "perverse old buzzard". When the mysterious misanthrope casts his beady eye across Scottish football, no-one is safe.

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